#DumbAssOfTheDay – January 22, 2015

Today’s #DumbAssOfTheDay is one hell of a classy grandmother.

According to the AP, Helen Heaphy is a 50-year-old grandmother who was allegedly playing with her nose a bit more than her bingo card at the town bingo hall.

The 50-year-old gam-gam plead guilty yesterday to two counts of possessing cocaine for sale or supply after Irish police caught her with the nasal narcotic outside a Cork bingo hall.

The story says that Cork District Court Judge Leo Malone accepted her lawyer’s plea for clemency, because of her family obligations and her possession of a relatively small amount, of the white pony powder worth roughly 400 bucks.

First of all, despite the report saying that amount is “relatively small,” I’m here to tell you that’s actually a pretty decent amount. Trust me, I’ve got it on good authority that it’s at least a couple of eight balls depending on your connection.

Heaphy insisted she was holding the cocaine for an unspecified friend. Of course she was. Isn’t that always the case gammy?

Malone fined Heaphy about $870 bones and gave her no jail time, despite her two prior convictions for drug possession and a count of obstructing a police narcotics unit.

Check out the full story via ABC